No I won’t!

I refuse to inherit cruel conditioning
I will breathe my own bizarre air
Call me a rebel if you wish
I don’t deny, nor do I care
Bare feet on filthy roads
A brutal smile to each stranger
I refuse to manicure my untidy nails
Bring on your so called, wild danger
I laugh aloud, I live in a trance
Doing an imperfect, abandoned dance
No regrets, no repairs, not even guilt
No, I don’t need a second chance.
Gaudy skirts, scarves and stilettos,
Faces smeared with gold-plated foils
I prefer the sweaty grains on flesh
Caressed by streams, sky and soils
Tag me a forbidden outsider,
Call my life a bundle of waste
I choose to live on my own terms
Indecently passionate and chaste.

A Zillion Wonderful Things

I hid that first poem from everyone
But you read it in my eyes
You taught me to love my books
And smile with every sunrise
I don’t understand this world
I would crib and ask you why
“You will learn as you mature”
Those words I could never deny
We shared thoughts and stories
You helped me arrange my rhyme
Our football game in the drawing room
The constantly giggling wind chime
My teacher told you once
Your daughter is naughty as hell
‘She is what she is’
You said at once in rebel
I sneaked into your blanket
After watching a movie of ghost
You somehow knew my happy key
And offered me a buttered toast
You said life is like that bread toaster
At times the grilling gets tough
Just add the bliss of your favourite butter
And remember you always have enough
You taught me to enjoy silence
And soar without wings
To believe every heart is beautiful
And a zillion wonderful things
On a lonely evening, amidst all chaos
Whenever I look at the pale sky
A dad who made me who I am
Reminds me how to fly

In love with self

A lonely piece of night on my palm
Restlessness maturing to blissful calm
Shapes of life moulding in me
Fencing the fields of destiny
Solitary thoughts rooted in self
Refusing support, rejecting help
Unwinding the core, reaching within
To bones, blood, muscles & skin
A companionship completely pure
Emotions clear, words too sure
They call me loner and offer me a hand
I need no one, they don’t understand
Relationship with self, a new love affair
Peacefully lost, content and unaware
Emptiness fills me up to the brim
And self becomes a fulfilled dream

While You Rest

Remembrances...
A wild laugh, needling rain, choked breath, flashes of pain.
Memories slumber, dreams drain!
A past I hold, tied to my back.
A heavy bulging, under the skin, sack
I walk past the stories, of flowers and song
A faint recall to where I belong
Dreaded destinies, you answered their call
And life was full of ‘nothing at all’
Long fingers, naughty eyes, strong arms and chest
I saw everything peacefully, put to rest!

Another Poem Lost!

Words
Stick to my hands, cling to my fingers, hide under my elbow.
A trembling poem loses its grip and drops on the sheet.
Petrified!
Alphabets behave funny these days.
Like a mute child with an unbearable stomach-ache.
Baffled phrases bulky with meanings
Heave a sigh for some fresh air.
I am answerable to words, they grow on me
We are poetic parasites, addicted mutually
Hearts glorify my words, in a flattering applause
I put my pen to rest, mourning another poem's loss.

Will I See You Flying?

She lived like a gush of wind
And looked like breeze in trance
Her thoughts freely bounced on paper
In an awesomely imperfect dance

She loved and sang and smiled to the sky
Dived in dreams without asking why

Her hair hung loose, they swept the blues
She changed stifled Dont’s to cheerful ‘Do’s’

How who what where?
She had no time to care.
An open book, a coffee mug
And cosy whispers of their love affair.

She spoke like a waterfall
Could reach the sky when stood tall

Each thought born & brought up well
Expressions you could touch and smell

One life blessed with fresh little things
Where thoughts could easily turn into wings.

A friend I lost to chaos and pain
Will I see you flying, ever again?

Death.

... And then one day she picked a knife
Slashed her palm stuck in destiny and strife
A grin like flash of peace in pain
Yahweh, don’t bring me to life again!


When end becomes a new dawn
And nothing exists to go on
Her thoughts shall linger in the air
Beyond everything, every time, everywhere!