Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Let Words Just Be!!!

There’s a light that falls on my eyelids as soon as I close them. The world inside me lightens up as soon as sleep takes over. It’s weird and I no longer look forward to this world of dreams, each one with an explanation. I was fond of it earlier but now I really need some rest, from words…and the thoughts hung all over. As a kid I remember being introduced to words and I loved pronouncing them one after the other. I could see my dad’s face glow when I said “Papa” for the first time. But it doesn’t last too long. Words grow old with you and they lose their charm. The first line that I scribbled was so fresh, so full of art. My scribbling has become mundane now. I have those 7000 words and I try to fit them in moulds, draw sense out of them and give meaning to them. Nothing comes natural anymore. It’s all so decorated. Even the compliments.
I wish to get back to the nursery rhymes. I enjoyed singing them till I didn’t understand a word in it. The moment my teacher told me the meaning I started questioning the thoughts, I started finding meaning in the imagery and I could no longer enjoy it. Same happens with writing. The more you understand it, the less you enjoy. I am quiet when the character in the book sings; I am sleepy when the lover is proposing his beloved. I don’t feel bad for the tragic hero anymore. Words are growing old in my head.
I heard someone sing in the Kinder Garden the other day “Baba Black Sheep hallu hallu bull” and “Sattt” rang the scale with the teacher screaming “It’s HAVE YOU ANY WOOL. Say it again” And then in a meek voice the corrected version followed “Baba Black Sheep Have You Any Wool” I was hurt. I wanted the rhyme to just be. I wanted the kid to sing it the way he wanted. Why all those unnecessary corrections? Why enforcing that perfection? Why can’t we just be? That kid will grow old and say it correctly some day. Let him enjoy the incorrect pronunciations for a while and live with it. Words they say give meanings to feelings but is finding a meaning in everything necessary? I don’t want to know what it means to dream, I just want to experience it. The meaning says: Dreams are a series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. Is this postmortem necessary?
Let words change their meanings, let’s pronounce them with an ease of childhood, let them go wrong. Let us live words once more and experience them instead of reading them. Let’s try doing it, just for once.

9 comments:

  1. I once questioned my self...about a series of dreams I was having..till then I loved getting up and trying to remember the dream all day through..but once I started going deeper to understand the thoughts and meanings behind those dreams....they stopped...and now i miss dreaming!
    This is good work...and yeah you are so true when you say lets enjoy the rhyme just the way we want to...wish we could live each moment of our life also the way we dream it instead of doing it the right way or trying to do everything the perfect way!!!At some stage wish we could just create our own way to do everything instead of the set rules...

    Loved this piece...looking forward to more...

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  2. I sense so much of innocence... in this write up.. well written... hope to see much more from you

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  3. She Kept it Real.
    You are Gem MooN!

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  4. Agony, Pain, Anguish, Despair everything can be actually felt after going through the lines. Good Job CD... In the ecstasy of being on TOP, Man actually became Machine. The innocence had been killed. Emotions had taken a back seat then something like this can sprinkle some water over our faces to make us realize that we are not dead. We can still feel... we can still taste... Any day that hallu hallu bull will make us smile. Sometimes we don’t need brains to understand things... heart is enough.
    Thank U so much... I would love to read more..

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  5. Life…. No big as the word itself . When you turn across the pages of this FAT book you can walk and feel through your loved once as they are just thr…......Love , innocence and purity,the essence of our living, did not vanish but its just that in the rat race we forgot the feel of it…
    The lines above take us to a joy ride of those days when our world revolved around these emotions. Great feeling… wud luv to read more….

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  6. Liked the last para. "Why enforcing that perfection"? This deals with innocence that's present in everyone's heart but needs an ingition to reveal itself.

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  7. shabdon ko mat sajaana....shatranj ki mohron ki tarah mat ladaana....kore kaagaz par bikhernaa..aur baaki kismat par chhod denaa...

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  8. Enjoy the breeze and forget what weather pattern caused it - way to live :-) Cool one.

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  9. one booker will definately come to india one day...

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